Where it all began

I have lost major amounts of weight twice in my life, only to gain it all back--and then some!!  Between 1998 and 2001, I went from 300 pounds to 146.  When 9/11 happened, not only was I reeling from a recent heartbreak, but I was sure the world was ending.  I gave up working out and came home after work everyday and watched the the twin towers go down over and over on the news all the while my weight was creeping back up.  By 2002 I had gained most of it back.  After my first cancer diagnosis 2005, I decided I wanted to lose weight because I was misdiagnosed.  I was told I had blocked sweat glands because my "thighs" rubbed together because I was "obese".  So, I set out again.  I went from 272 to 194.  In February of 2007 I was diagnosed with appendix cancer w/PMP.  EVERYTHING I read about my cancer said I wasn't going to live, so I stopped caring.  Between the appendix removal and the two HUGE cancer-related surgeries (to rid my body of the cancer) and the hernia repair a short time later I wasn't able to really get back into exercising, nor did I even want to.  I was very depressed and hopeless.  From the time I was diagnosed, I pretty much started eating everything in sight, and NONE of it was healthy.  I went from 194 to my highest weight of 318.  I also suferred another setback.  Last March I was laid off from my job of almost EIGHT years.  At first, I lost a few pounds because I was so upset and scared that I could NOT eat.  Then, my appetite came back.  I was very depressed yet again and although I still had my gym membership, I didn't use it.  I just stayed at home and became more and more anxious and depressed. Thankfully, I was called back to work in September and have been working full time since.  Getting back to the weight issue.  In September, I started feeling REALLLLLY sick.  I hurt all over, had a continuous middle grade fever, I had hot flashes constantly.  I thought I WAS dying I felt so awful.  Towards the end of October 2010, I went to my primary care dr.  I weighed 318.  My triglycerides, sugar, liver enzymes and kidney functions were through the roof and my liver was EXTREMELY fatty and enlarged.  It was there that I broke down and cried and told my doctor I couldn't do this anymore.  She basically said (in a nice way) something to this effect "You've been so worried about your cancer coming back.  It may or may not ever happen.  Meanwhile, you have MAJOR health issues (Diabetes Type 2) that WILL kill you if you don't turn this pattern around".  She gave me a sample pen of Byetta (5MCG) and I was told that I would need to start giving myself shots of this medicine twice a day.  Let me tell you, I was TERRIFIED. I went to a diabetes educator who showed me how to do it and did some nutritional counseling.  The shots are totally NOT a big deal.  From November 1st through today, I have gone from 318 to 295.  Just with this initial weight loss, my liver enzymes, kidney function, triglycerides and sugar have all come down DRASTICALLY!!   I just went up to 10MCG twice per day today on my Byetta injections.  I am also watching my carb intake, am eating VERY little sugar (my ultimate goal is to eliminate ALL of it).  I don't eat things like candy, cookies, cake, etc..."recreational sugar" anymore though!!  I also stopped drinking diet coke altogether and am drinking more water.  I am working with a lady at the gym I go to.  She is helping me with my nutrition and has put together a very rigorous workout for me!!   I also go to OA meetings (overeater's anonymous).  My plan is to start actually working the program (I admit that I haven't been).  My goal is to get back down to around 200 pounds (where I was at when I was diagnosed with appendix cancer) by my 40th birthday, which is approximately 16 months away. My doctor also approves of this weight.  It may not make me "skinny", but I will be at a weight that I know I feel and look decent at!!  I have a long road ahead but I am not going to look that far ahead.  I will have to take it day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute.  I have faith that Jesus, my Savior WILL see me through this.  I know I can do it, I've done it twice before.  I pray for not only the persevearance and strength to get to my goal, but to STAY there once I have achieved it!!  I hope that you all will help to encourage me as I climb this mountain!!!  Thank you so much for your support!!!